Lyle ==> Be Paula Deen (TORY) (ACT 1)

[shiny]

This really wasn't her cup of tea. Well, a cup of tea wasn't her cup of tea either, so maybe that wasn't a good analogy to use. It wasn't her usual ball game was more like it. Yeah, that was better. Course there was the technicality of what ball game was it exactly that, of all people, was unusual for her. Raised more questions than it answered, really. That wasn't the point though, and all of this was just useless prattle to fill in space and take up time. The only thing you really needed to know as that Lyle happened to be in a situation that wasn't common for her.

And that situation happened to be her standing in her kitchen. This certain space in her house was a very alien place for her. Other than maybe shoving things in the freezer every once in a while or poking her head in to make sure that Tory wasn't burning the place down (which she had the utmost confidence he wasn't, but shut up that was her son and she would check if she wanted) she was never in here. It was too clean for her liking, the reach of her influence hadn't spread here so it was overpowered by Tory's unnatural cleanliness. Everything was put up so nicely and it kind of smelt like a mixture of soap and this mornings breakfast. Made her skin crawl, really. Things shouldn't be so orderly. It needed to look like a tornado had come through the place; more comfortable and homey. She wouldn't make a mess, as much as she wanted, for her son's sake. She did fidget with the Panda themed cookie and sugar jars, mixing up the heads and then moving one to the opposite counter.

With all of that needed description over and done with, one might wonder 'Now why was she in there if she didn't seem to want to be'? The answer to that one had started about three weeks ago. She had been trying to make a delicious meal for them both, and failed. It ended up with a flaming pudding in the over and a hokey stick through the door; she hadn't known how to turn the contraption off. After the repairman left and a new over was in place, Tory had gently suggested a cooking lesson so she wouldn't destroy any more needed utensils. This was after he walked in on her with a Criket net raised over her head and a flaming bowl of cereal in the microwave, though. Begrudgingly she had agreed.

A number of items were laid out on the counter, all fresh from the store. She had just gotten back from picking them up, in fact. She wasn't sure what half of them were or what they were used for, but she had managed to get all of the items Tory had listed after a battle with the Grocery store. Really, she hated that place. But that didn't matter, what did matter was that she was ready to rumble and cook whatever it was that he had planned. Hopefully it would be something cool?

[TORY WOLFFE]

==> Tory: Keep an eye on Mother

Well, what else was he supposed to do? His mother is in the kitchen. Trying to cook. Sure it was Tory's suggestion to get her to take cooking lessons and she...surprisingly took it up. The first thing that comes to mind would be "what could possibly go wrong?" Well, as a matter of fact, everything could go wrong. Just three weeks ago, Tory was going through the daily routine of any normal fifteen year old boy would on a weekday, attending classes in school, when his phone alerted him of an incoming pester. Not from a chum but from his mother oddly enough. But that was beside the point. The point is, his mother had managed to set pudding on fire due to the lack of knowledge of switching off the oven. And after an unsettlingly long stretch of silence, the matter was resolved with a simple hockey stick and ordering take out instead.

How the hockey stick ended up through the door. Well, anyone's guess would be as good as Tory's. He did not know what made him wait till the time he walked in on his mother trying to switch of the microwave with a CRICKET NET while a burning bowl of cereal continue to rotate within it. How do you even set fire to a bowl of cereal. Is that even relatively possible? You didn't think so. Didn't it happen in a cartoon show on tv once?

Anyway, to prevent the further escalating replacements of kitchen appliances due to sporting equipments, Tory decided to keep all of his mother's sports equipment in the attic. And by all of it, he means ALL OF IT. Never has the living space of the Wolffe household looked so...empty. Empty as in neat and tidy of course. He promised his mother that as soon as she gets this day of 'cooking' over and done with, he would let her scatter her equipment around the house. Like confetti if need be.

But for now, Tory would take his place in the kitchen, you know, in case something blows up. He gave his mother a set of simple instructions to follow and even took it upon himself to give her a recipe that doesn't require fire to cook. Seriously, if something does blow up, it would mean that the kitchen is rigged with explosives. That's the only plausible reason. He watched as his mother stalled for time, at least that's what Tory thinks she's doing,as she played with the heads of the Panda themed cookie and sugar jar. Tory made a mental note to rearrange them back to their original positions before sighing inwardly.

This is going to be a very, very long afternoon.